(Part 1/2) I am what you would call a late bloomer.

I was a fat child and the biggest of all my sisters. I'm also the darkest. I felt disadvantaged and when I was in secondary school, I was bullied. Students would pour water on all the chairs and call me a milk factory. I felt inadequate and like I had to over-compensate. I would do anything to make people like me; anything to make them look beyond my physical body. And so, I was self-serving and people-serving for a very long time. It was a toxic way to live. I coasted along in my Law degree at university just because it was what my parents wanted. I was content with being an average student. I could have excelled, but I felt 2.2 was enough. I didn’t push as hard as I could have.

My Christian life began quite early and that even made me more closed off. My life revolved around church, fellowship and home. I had very low self-esteem and didn’t really explore many areas of my personality or interests. I would smile at everyone, but inside I thought, “Maybe she's looking at me because I'm fat and that's why she doesn't want to be close to me or be my friend. Maybe if I try hard and like everything she does, she would like me."

All these issues reached a peak when I got married.

I got married because everybody around me was getting married and it was the Christian thing to do. I wanted to do it right before God and be a virgin till I married. My very low self-esteem affected my choice at the time and I did my husband a disservice too. When you have an unhealthy self-esteem and you join yourself with another person, you're going to bring pain and hardship to the other party.

I don’t blame myself or my partner for my marriage ending. When I started to deal with my issues, I knew the marriage could not continue. I left so that he could heal and I could heal & deal with myself.

(Part 2/2) When I started working in radio, it really helped me to discover who I am. I just never knew people like me could achieve great things despite the way they looked. It has nothing to do with your size and everything to do with the capacity of your mind. Since I made the decision about 6 years ago to begin to live the way I wanted, I've been happier. I've achieved more, I've taken great strides and I know that it's because I faced my fears. I had to get to the point where I told myself that, “I am good enough because everyone God has made is good enough.” If you don't think you are good enough people are not going to think you are good enough.

I have 4 amazing kids; a daughter and three sons. I understand that self-esteem is something you must get right. I tell my daughter every time how beautiful she is, how great she is. I tell her these things now so she can sit among people and keep her head high, knowing fully well that her “content is more important than the container”. That’s what I am doing to correct what I didn't get initially.

I'm single now and I'm very happy. I love my kids, I have a good relationship with my ex, and I have people that love me. I have a good team, I have work, comedy, music and church. I travel, write, act and do the things that I've always wanted to do. Imagine if I had this kind of healthy self-esteem; I would have made better choices earlier in life and started out better, but there is nothing that happens to man that God is not involved in.

The people that you celebrate are not people without scars. The stretch marks on my belly are a tapestry of my children. They expanded my womb, they made it wrinkled and I love them. They are not something to be ashamed of. You are all the things that you've gone through and come through. I'm not ashamed to talk about these things now because there's somebody out there who needs to get up and know that things are not bad. So, that's how I see my life - like a tapestry.

I hated school.

I went to 3 different universities. I really don't want to talk about the first one, but know that I had to leave. The 2nd university was the University of Lagos (UNILAG). I was really unserious. I would party regularly and I got into drugs too. I was just in school collecting money from home. I had an apartment and a car, so there was really no reason to be serious. I just kept on playing and all the people around me were bad influences and were pushing me in the wrong direction. The school advised that I withdraw because I wasn't writing exams. The truth is I didn't even know when we were supposed to write exams. I was meant to be in 200 level when this happened.

I later got admitted into 200 level in a private university. Honestly, I turned from bad to worse. I didn't like the school because there were so many rules and regulations. There was also a curfew and we had to wear a suit and a tie. I was pretty much a rebel. I broke some of the rules a couple of times, smuggled in drugs (codeine), smoked weed & cigarettes and had another set of bad friends. I got suspended 3 times, till I was expelled from the school in my final year. I was later readmitted into the school to redo my final year. At this time, all my mates had graduated. I was still a naughty child but I was able to graduate. I was happy when I finally graduated and got my certificate.

I've stopped taking codeine and weed. I'm still trying to stop alcohol and cigarettes. I really do desire to stop everything and focus on what is right and I know God is able to help me.

I used to itch till I bled.

In junior secondary school, I noticed a tiny rash on my finger which expanded every time I itched. The rash gradually spread to my elbows, my face and then my entire body (even my scalp). I used different steroid creams but every new one I tried out soon became ineffective against the rash.

In 2014, I had another attack and sought the attention of a doctor. I was diagnosed with psoriasis (an autoimmune disease that causes over production of skin) and as a result I was placed on oral steroids.

This time, the rash became worse and I couldn't go out. I could barely even feel my face or talk properly. I wondered what God thought about this, having a pending issue already and adding a greater one. One very clear message I got was "careless trust". I struggled for a while but gave in. I ignored the rash and continued with my regular activities.

A few months ago, I was discussing with a friend and an issue on "the rash" came up. I wanted to show her the dark scaly scar on my fingers. I looked for it but didn't see it. The rash had cleared up!

No matter what is wrong in your life, no matter how bad you think it is, God can never give you more than you can handle because he is definitely with you. You might see the issue as a "problem" but the truth is, God might need you to learn something. I learnt trust. Never focus on "worry". Has it ever added a strand of hair to your head? Instead it makes it grey.

(Part 1/2) I wrote JAMB 6 times. My results were withheld the first 4 times and I felt there was no way I was writing JAMB again. I had just started discovering my love for music. My mum was in tears as she wanted me to go back to try JAMB again. So, she bought the JAMB form herself because I wasn't interested. I’d made up my mind that I was done with school and would just make money from music. I eventually wrote the exam for the 5th time and had a good score. I also had a good score (90 over 100) in Post UME but I still didn't get admission. It was really weird and at that point I gave up.

A friend of mine who believed so much in me got me the JAMB form again, and because this was the 6th time, I wasn't bothered. In fact, I went to sing somewhere in Oyo Town and it was a vigil. My exam was the next morning. I got to the exam hall late in Ibadan. I was 30 minutes late so they punished me by keeping me outside for an extra 15minutes. So far I had missed 45 minutes of the exam. I honestly wasn't bothered.

I walked in majestically afterwards and didn't apologise to anyone because I felt they were still going to withhold the result again. I wrote the exam and walked out. (At this time, I knew the syllabus like the palm of my hand.) I scored 257. I wrote Post UME and I got my admission into the University of Lagos (UNILAG).

I had a good time in UNILAG. I ended up studying Philosophy and in my final year, right before my convocation I had an accident. But before my accident, I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to be a big boy. I wanted to have so much money like my brother and just be one of those young men controlling things before age 30. It looked like things were actually going well. There were a lot of ups and downs but things were looking good. I got a good job in my final year and my salary was great, so I felt life was good.

I had stopped singing. I'd seen money, and my dreams had started coming to life. People kept on asking me why I wasn't singing anymore. But I liked where I was, the money was good and church wasn't going to give me that kind of money.

(Part 2/2) So, on this particular day I was going to minister at my Pastor’s birthday. Prior to that time, my Pastors had been telling me, "The life you're living is not you. You're supposed to be doing ministry." but I wasn’t having it. To be honest, I wasn't living a great life. I wasn't going to church anymore.

In retrospect, I feel God wanted to get my attention. So, while I was driving, this man just drove into me and destroyed my car. I was in the hospital, my right arm got broken and I couldn't use it for over 2 years. I then made a promise to God that I was going to go back to him. I quit my job. The album, ‘As I Am, The Journey So Far’ was birthed after my accident.

The ‘As I Am’ brand comes from a place of me saying this is me, coming to God as I am, with no pretence. The album came with a lot of awards and recognition from that boy who was fighting to be relevant in the social system with money and all. Truth is, success is not financial. Success is living in the purpose and will of God for your life. The will of God for your life can make you prosperous. That's the part Christians don't understand. God can bless you so much with no sorrow added to it.

Everything I was chasing and I felt I couldn't get, I have them and the best part about it is that it never stops. I might not be there yet, but the path of the righteous shines brighter and brighter till the perfect day.

My story continues and this will encourage someone to realise that when God wants your attention, he will get it. Sometimes he might get it in a way that hurts, or a way that would shock everyone or shock you, or you'll just learn and listen to him. If I had listened to God all this while, I probably wouldn't have gone through all this pain, but today I understand that my scars are a sign of the victory in Christ and it's a reminder of how not to misbehave. I'm totally grateful for every pain, every minute of confusion and I hope that I can inspire young people and make them realise that in God, we are complete.

I always thought that being a Christian was about going to church and serving in church. Basically living for Sundays.

I was always told things like, “Make sure you pay your tithes and give your offering.” “Be a good girl.” “Make sure you are doing good and even when you're doing bad, the people that know you won't catch you doing bad”. So basically, I was living to serve a particular set of people, not realising it was all about God. It was okay to go to the clubs and do anything, as long as the people that were not supposed to see you didn’t see you. I’d then go back to church on Sunday to serve and act perfect, just like everyone else.

The truth was something that I found out about a year ago and it's so far off from religion. It's now a way of life; not trying to please anyone but making sure my life aligns with what God wants me to be. I never knew it was possible to talk to God or to hear from him. I knew it was real but I just thought whatever the pastor said on Sunday was it and it would end there. For me, it was normal to go to school, graduate & get a job, hustle, make money, get married, have kids, grow old, and then die. That was basically what life meant to me. So I felt, "Why not just have fun while you can." I didn't realise there was much more to life than that. Of course, I knew I had certain things inside of me but I didn't understand where my place in God was at the time.

It was an eye opener for me when I finally realised that there was more to God and God was bigger than what I ever imagined him to be. 

(Part 1/4) Service year was rounding to a close and I did not have any lady to call a future wife. I remember God telling me that I would meet my future wife during my National Youth Service (NYSC) and that she would be a south-western lady. I constantly looked at my journal where I had written that prophecy God had given me personally.

I had just ended a relationship of 3 years because I saw that it would take a lot of work for both of us to get along. Added to that was that we both lacked self-control and almost had sex on several occasions. I knew we had to end it if we didn't want to both suffer the consequences.

Now here I was, serving in Jos on the Plateau, with ladies I could choose from. I definitely needed a divine hand to be able to choose appropriately. I made one cardinal rule to guide me in future relationships. Whatever feelings I had for any lady, I would consult my Father and friend before making any move. Alongside this guideline were also four things I considered were very crucial to my marital success.

First and foremost, she had to be born-again and an ardent pursuer of God. Secondly, she had to be my friend. We should be able to talk about anything and everything. She should be able to tell me things as they are & be confident and free to express her feelings about everything. Thirdly, she had to have a great sense of humour. I couldn't marry someone who wouldn't get a joke I shared on Monday morning until Tuesday evening *laughs*. And lastly, she must be resourceful; able to make the best of whatever she had, whether plenty or little.

As I related with many of the ladies who lived in the Christian Fellowship family house during NYSC, those were the things that guided my interactions.

(Part 2/4) Whenever I discovered I developed an interest in a lady, I would immediately talk to God about it. The conversation usually went something like this - "Father God I've discovered that I really like (I'd mention the lady's name). The way she smiles just melts my heart and I think I really like her. But then I'd like you to tell me what you think. Is she the one I should marry?" On some occasions, immediately after the prayers, he would nudge my heart and I would know she wasn't the one. On other occasions, I would know she wasn't the one after a few days of interactions. She would suddenly "disqualify" herself.

However, there was one particular lady that I couldn't get a specific answer from the Lord about. We had developed a great friendship. Mind you, I had become friends with other ladies as a result of my role as the Publicity Secretary of the NCCF.

One day, I came back from my place of primary assignment upset about how my day went and this sister offered to listen to my frustration. She asked me if I wanted to take a walk with her and since we had become good friends, I felt I needed the company. For the next 20 minutes or so, we were walking and talking. She listened intently to every word I said. We soon approached a suya stand and she asked me if I wanted some. I quickly told her I didn't bring my wallet along and she promptly asked me if she was telling me to pay. I was taken aback.

Up until this moment, I had never had a lady buy me anything without me already having paid my dues before that time. She bought the suya for myself and her and paid. For the remaining 100 metres it took us to get back to the NCCF family house, I couldn't get over what had happened. When I told a roommate, he just told me that she must really like me.

Service year soon wound to a close and still, there was no lady to call my own.

(Part 3/4) One day I was prayerfully considering my options. I thought of ladies within my circle that I could ask to marry me when I returned to Ibadan and I couldn't think of any.

At that point, a thought crossed my mind, "What about Moji?" I told myself that she was a no-go area. We had both decided we would just be friends and wouldn't allow the insinuations of people to push us into a love relationship.

However, the more I thought about those qualities that were important to me and asked God, the fonder I became of her. Then I knew I had fallen in love with her without knowing. The problem was how to tell her I loved and wanted to marry her without it appearing as if I was leading her on in our friendship? Wouldn’t that be a betrayal of trust? Besides, she was a University graduate and I was an HND holder.

I knew of her dreams to pursue a career in academics while I didn't want to pursue any more academic degrees in Estate Management. So, I knew I had to be guided when I related with her. The more we talked, the more I was convinced about her but I just couldn't get myself to talk to her about love. It seemed it was only NYSC that brought us into the same class. I toyed with the idea in my mind and I knew I had to develop courage to get the girl or else I would regret it all my life. So, I prayed to God for help.

(Part 4/4) On a Sunday, while in church, God sent me help. The pastor preached a message about being bold and courageous and he used the story of Jonathan and his armour bearer in 1 Samuel 14. When the pastor read the second part of verse 6, I knew God was talking to me. Convinced that the Lord had spoken to me to allay all my fears, I made up my mind to ask my friend to marry me. The worst that could happen was that she would say no.

I told her what was on my mind but instead of her giving a response, she just uttered a hasty goodnight and ran into the family house, shocked. At that point, I knew she never expected it! I felt I was in trouble.

She never gave me any answer the other morning and it took a lot for me to greet her. She didn't give me any response still. It was as if I never said anything to her. I began writing love notes to her but after two weeks, I got tired and stopped altogether. 

Then she called me one day, just before the evening devotion and I got one of the worst "talking-tos" of my life. One thing she said stuck, even till today. "You don't raise a woman's hopes for love and suddenly dash them", she said. Apparently, all my love notes were etching a place in her heart and I thought I was just pouring water into a basket. I guess she was waiting for the right time to say yes.

That was 2003, some thirteen years ago. Today, we are still friends and lovers, with a beautiful family. Every time I think about us, I'm so glad God guided me. I've never regretted making that move to tell her I was in love with her. In fact, I still am. 

CHRISTMAS IN A BOX

Christmas in a Box (a project of Slum2School Africa) began in 2013. Since then, it has impacted children in various slum communities around Lagos State - Bariga, Ajegunle, Emina and Saga Island and our host community Makoko, Lagos. Over the years, we have reached out to over 15,000 kids, showing and making them feel the essence of Christmas.

2015 was a major year for us as we reached out to internally displaced children in Borno, Kaduna and Abuja.

At Slum2School, Christmas is not only about sharing gifts with those who are unable to celebrate, but also making them feel what Christmas is about - love. Our Christmas in a Box grand finale this year was on the 17th of December at Adekunle Primary School, Makoko Road, Yaba. This year’s event was different because for the first time, we had a female celebrity Santa!Christmas in a Box (a project of Slum2School Africa) began in 2013. Since then, it has impacted children in various slum communities around Lagos State - Bariga, Ajegunle, Emina and Saga Island and our host community Makoko, Lagos. Over the years, we have reached out to over 15,000 kids, showing and making them feel the essence of Christmas.

2015 was a major year for us as we reached out to internally displaced children in Borno, Kaduna and Abuja.

At Slum2School, Christmas is not only about sharing gifts with those who are unable to celebrate, but also making them feel what Christmas is about - love. Our Christmas in a Box grand finale this year was on the 17th