When I was young, people used to tell me I was fat, even when I wasn't. At the end of secondary school, although I wasn't like every other person, I was quite beautifully developed and I would constantly get, "You are too fat! You are too fat!" That messed up my psyche and spoilt my self-esteem.

Getting into university, I would dress tomboyish and would overcompensate because I felt I was fat and for a long time I thought I was ugly. I did start to pile on the weight. I remember someone once told me I needed to quickly find someone to marry and then have a child, and continue to get fat. (She said this in Yoruba.)

Sometime during my university, I was hanging out with my friend, Abounce. I had been so sad all day and he kept asking what was wrong with me. He was a very good friend who was like a big brother to me. He would tell me not to care about what anybody said to me and that it’s what's on the inside that counts.

Whenever I tried to exercise and I got on the road to do a brisk walk, people would yell at me, okada men scream, people stare, laugh and jeer. I would lose it and get discouraged. When eating, people would also say things like, "Are you meant to be eating?" and I would retort, “No, I'm supposed to starve and die!" People can really be very nasty.

In the end, it took God’s grace and that conversation I had with my friend, Abounce, to help me realise that I am who I am. I should love myself in spite of whatever anybody has to say.

I am a dream chaser, I am living my dream, I am loving my life and I am beautiful. I do not dress like a reject. In my speech, in the way that I walk and talk, I am proud of who I am and I know I can be a better person.

Perhaps tomorrow I will be able to win this battle called weight loss, not for anybody but for God and myself. Being plus size doesn't make me less of who I am. It just makes me extra special, extra goodie, extra loving, extra teddy bearish, extra blessed and extra loved.

Somebody needs to hear this. Remember to find love with God and remember to love yourself.

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(Part 3/3) I've heard of trailers killing people on the road and driving into cars but a trailer crashed into my house, where I was sleeping in my bedroom. I don't usually park my car at that particular side of the house, but I just did the night it happened. I was supposed to go for a bachelor’s eve party. I was at home waiting to get the location but slept off till the next morning when I woke up to a loud bang. In fact, I fell down from my bed, and when I looked outside the window I saw a trailer. It drove into the fence, and rammed straight into my car crushing it all the way to my room. The car actually stopped the trailer from coming into my apartment to end me once and for all.

I just started crying and I said, 'Lord, use me as you want to use me. I am your living sacrifice. I am done.' I began to understand the meaning of the love of God and the fear of God and that broke all the addictions; everything that I once used to do. I went through a lot.

When you become a Christian, it doesn't guarantee that you won't go through tribulations and suffering. So in my process, I went through many things that I'm not sure a lot of people would have been able to. Because my addictions were a lot and I had gone really deep, God did a great work on me to get me right.

I'm now free from all my addictions and I use my life to help people who are willing to be the best version of themselves. I'm walking by faith, trying to do things as the Lord leads me. I am now a certified life coach and a relationship expert. I was called by God to do what I'm doing right now and I found my purpose at the end of the day. I realised that God works for our own good, in good times and bad times, according to his purpose.

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(Part 2/3) I continued living the life and I got myself another car, some months after my accident. My madness was now doubled. I was doing the same things. I became a sugar daddy, importing girls from outside the country. So many things were going on. Everything was just a cruise and trips to me. I entirely forgot that every human being has a purpose on earth and that my path took me away from my purpose. My only purpose at the time, was to make money, to enjoy my life and to take care of the ladies that were around me.

I got robbed one night and this time, the robbers pointed a gun at my head and said, 'Biggy if you do anyhow, you go see anyhow.' I thought that was it and told myself, 'This time I'm done and I want to face God.' But as I now say, if truly you don't understand the love of God and the fear of God, and you rely on your strength to change, you're only deceiving yourself. It's just going to last for a while.

I sobered up after the robbery but still went back to my old ways. Now, it was triple what I used to do. I believe that when you get delivered and you don't have a God foundation, your demons will come back 7 times stronger. That's what happened. So every time I repented and went back to my old ways, the devil came back with his family and neighbours. *laughs*

Armed robbers came to my house yet again. They probably heard that there was a big boy in the area. They robbed me, beat me, took all my valuables; my laptop, money, jewellery and perfumes and I thought they were going to kill me.

Afterwards I told myself, 'Soji, let's do this now for God. Enough is enough.'

I started living for God, but I was walking in righteousness by laws and religion which at the end of the day, still failed. My alcohol level and the use of drugs increased. I was taking marijuana, and smoking and drinking heavily. I didn't even care until the last incident that happened that eventually brought me to Christ.

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(Part 1/3) There was a time in life where all I wanted was fast money, cars, and women. Those were my priorities. I wanted to be among and feel among. So I got mixed up in the wrong gang and started making money. When the money came, I bought a car.

I was a nice guy and a free giver, so with my sweet mouth and the gift of giving, meeting women was easy. Despite my size, girls were all over me. I was a nightlife king and thought I was enjoying life.

This reckless lifestyle created a destructive pattern and it was only the grace of God that took me out of it. It took a while, because I became addicted to sex and alcohol. In fact, I developed a minor heart condition because I couldn't stop drinking.

One time, I was on my way to a sex party and was involved in an accident. Robbers had put some barbed wire on the road to carry out an operation. I drove over the wires and my car hit the pavement, flipped over three times and landed on another pavement. I heard the robbers rushing towards me saying, 'Check if he don die.' I was lying upside down in the car and I pretended to be dead. I don’t usually wear seat belts but that night thankfully, I was wearing one. The seat belt was literally holding me upside down.

My mum had begged me not to go out that night and all of a sudden I heard her prayers. Fortunately a car with a siren was approaching and the robbers ran off, thinking it was the police. I was able to crawl out of the passenger's side to try and flag down the car but it wasn’t the police but a company car with a siren. I called all my friends but none of them picked up. I was forced to call someone I had fought with in a club two weeks before. Luckily, he came with the police and tow truck to bail me out.

As I stood there looking at the car, I was shocked to come out of the crash unscathed. I thought to myself, ‘Lord did I just come out of this car?’ I became sober for some months but soon resumed my reckless life.

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(Part 5/5) I’m trying to make the most of a bad situation and I am using my own experience to try to help others who are going through an amputation. I try to be there for them and to talk to them about the mental, emotional and spiritual toll it can take. Occasionally, I help out financially too. I am part of the IREDE FOUNDATION where we provide free prosthetic limbs for children under 18, and especially for those whose families can’t afford it.

It has not been easy but God has been faithful. I’m forever grateful to all those who have supported us and the founder, Crystal Chigbu and Beulah, a child amputee and the reason the foundation was set up. Beulah is just eight years old and inspires me so much. Every time I feel down and out, I think about her and the amazing way she’s dealing with everything.

My career path is still unfolding but I know that there's so much God has called me to do. My name is Adenike Oyetunde. I am a cancer survivor and an amputee in Lagos, Nigeria.

I am a fun person and good food really excites me. I also hope to learn how to swim soon. I can drive a trailer to any part of the world - just give me a smooth road. I plan to ride a bicycle someday. I still want to scuba dive and I want to enjoy my life.

I am learning and hoping to be at the centre of God’s will. Some days I don't feel like I am. Some days I feel I am off track but other days I feel his hands on my shoulder and he’s literally saying, “I'm walking on this journey with you.”

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(Part 4/5) By the next morning when I woke up, my leg had grown to twice the size. I knew it was an emergency because the tumour was just eating and living off everything I was taking in, all my nutrients. I was like a walking dead person literally.

My life was hell and I was in constant pain. There was absolutely no pain killer that worked anymore. I had abused almost everything and nothing was working.

The day I got to UCH, because of all the administrative business, I didn't have the injury cleaned. At this point, it was a big hollow. So the next day when it was time to clean it, I saw a maggot. The injury was cleaned with formalin. Formalin is what is used to embalm dead bodies, and that part of my body was literally dead and was smelling.

I honestly just couldn't wait to get my life back. I wasn't bothered about life as an amputee. I had never noticed anybody with an amputation in my life and didn't know what it meant to live permanently with having to use crutches. But all of those things didn’t bother me because I just wanted my life back. I wanted to go back to school, I wanted to live again and I wanted to be happy. I wanted my parents to see that I was fine and strong. I had to be very strong for my folks, so whenever I wanted to cry I would cry when nobody was around.

On the 4th of February 2006, my limb was amputated and it has not been easy. It's been an interesting roller-coaster ride over the past 10 years. There have been days when I have just not been in the mood to talk to anyone. Days when I have sat alone and wept. But there have been days too when I have felt so empowered and had so much energy like I could literally change the world. I have felt like a superwoman on those days. There are days when I get very irritable and fed up with wearing my prosthetic limb. On those days, I know I'm not in sync with the Holy Spirit because when I'm in sync with the Holy Spirit, no one can upset me.

I often wish I was born an American citizen so I can access all the latest prosthetic technology. Nothing ever prepares you for living with a disability.

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(Part 3/5) This was a 20-year-old me that had just been informed she had cancer. I didn't know what to make of the whole thing. As I was about to look at my dad to say, ‘Oh let's go. These people don't know what they are saying.’ my dad was crying and I was like, ‘Daddy, why are you crying? This man doesn't know what he's saying.’ At the point he said it was cancer, the only way out was an amputation and we needed to do it ASAP. I did not accept the stories of the doctors so I told my dad, ‘Can we go home?’

I was home for weeks. We looked for everything and all the solutions in the world. I tried trado-medical. I took and ingested so much but the injury still wasn't healing and my limb was getting bigger and bigger. I started to have bed sores as I was immobile. Initially, I had my regular menstrual cycle, but because I couldn't move, my parents had to clean me up. I don't have siblings, so it was just my parents. In the end, when I had lost so much blood, my menstrual cycle stopped by itself. I would use bed pans and my parents would help me. It was a huge strain.

Someone then told us about a hospital at Ebute Metta, Lagos. We got there and at this time, my leg was as big as a basketball. It was still the same story. Someone then said we should move to a prayer house in Ibadan. My parents took me. It was a Muslim prayer house. The place was fairly okay, and there was a nurse who used to come there. I remember that it was the nurse who told my father that he should take me to University College Hospital (UCH) Ibadan.

On the way to Ibadan, I think I had an out of body experience because in my mind I think I just died and something happened in that space. I remember so clearly, I was walking down a path, but after a while I could hear people shout my name until I came back to myself.

We got to UCH and the moment the Chief Medical Director saw me he just said, "Young lady, this is an orthopaedic emergency."

The day I was supposed to do the surgery to amputate my leg, the anaesthesiologist sent me away from the theatre because my blood level was so low that if they put me to sleep I may not have woken up. So I was given a blood transfusion.

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(Part 2/5) I went back to school after my leg had been drained of fluid. For two weeks everything seemed fine until it suddenly started to deteriorate. I couldn’t walk again and my dad came to pick me up from school to head back to Lagos. We went straight to hospital where they did more tests. I couldn't walk again.

The doctors said the first drainage that was performed on my leg was not successful and they had to drain it again. This time in comparison to the first time, it was a major drainage. They drained the blood and it was dark. It wasn't like regular blood. I figured I was going to be fine after this. The opening for the 2nd drainage was larger and I needed to stay in Lagos for a bit because they wanted to observe me. Thankfully, we had done our continuous assessments at school so I could take time off.

I was home and it seemed like everything was going fine, but I was always in pain. At this time, I had started to use crutches because I didn't want to put pressure on my leg. After a few weeks, I suspected that the doctor was hiding something and in hindsight I figured he knew what was wrong but didn’t know how to tell us. He said he was going to refer me to the orthopaedic hospital because he needed us to know exactly what was going on. I didn't think anything of this.

I went to the orthopaedic hospital and at this point my knee had started to grow and the injury/opening wasn't healing. It just started to get larger. I did a biopsy and series of tests. Dad and I went home after the tests and I just knew everything was going to be fine. I was still talking to my classmates telling them, ‘I'll be back in school soon. I'm getting better.’ I didn’t think anything bad was going to happen.

We went back to the hospital, and we were in the doctor’s office waiting for the results. Then the doctor came into the room and said matter-of-factly, “Young lady, you have cancer. It's malignant and I'm booking you for a surgery."

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(Part 1/5) A few months ago, I turned 30 and exactly 10 years before that, I lost my limb to osteogenic sarcoma aka cancer of the bone.

I was in my 2nd year of university. I went home for the weekend to spend some time with my parents because I was studying outside of Lagos. Their home had been without water for a while and during my stay, I wanted to help them pump water during a short window when power was briefly restored.

I had finished filling all the barrels with water and as I was about to lift the last one, I slipped and fell. It was a very grand fall. My dad was in the living room with a friend of his and both of them came running out after hearing how loudly I screamed. It was a bad fall but with their help, and after taking painkillers, I felt fine. It was a Sunday so I went back to school on the same day.

I was fine for most of the week but by Thursday, something just didn’t feel right. I was in so much pain and couldn't get out of bed. My house mates thought I was kidding and everyone left me. I kept telling them, ‘I'm not joking, I can't get out of the bed.’

When it was almost time for lectures, my flatmates noticed that I still hadn’t gotten out of bed. Then they knew it was for real that I couldn't stand up. My friend, Tayo Akindele picked me up and brought me back to Lagos.

I had to go to my neighbour's because my parents weren’t home. My folks got back and I still couldn't stand up or walk. So I had to stay the night at my neighbour’s house.

The next day, I went to the hospital and doctors told me that due to the fall I had, blood had not been flowing through my leg properly and that was why I couldn’t move my knee. They did a minor drainage. After that, there was an opening in my leg, so they told me I had to dress the opening every other day. At the time, I was in so much excruciating pain.

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(Part 2/2) After a while I realized that I had to resign from my job. I felt like God said I should resign. I shared my thoughts with my group members in church and they began to pray with me. My husband who initially didn’t understand why I wanted to resign eventually gave me the go ahead. But still, I was very confused. None of my side hustles was enough to start a business. And I really didn't want to go through the struggles of my childhood. How could I leave a very successful career without a plan B?

In my quiet time, God took me to Genesis Chapter 12, where He told Abraham to leave the land he was in to go to the land he was going to show him. I was using a Joyce Meyer Bible at the time and in the narrative, she shared that God had asked her to resign when she was in full time employment. She didn’t know what she was going to do, but she took that step of faith. I took it as confirmation and I decided to 'do it afraid'.

Now I am sure that I am living the life of my dreams. It’s still early days but God has just been so amazing. 'Doing it afraid' is a constant thing. I hosted my first conference in one of the most expensive venues in Lagos at a time when I had just given all I owned to someone who needed financial help. I have spoken in the presence of dignitaries in government and received awards and been on a list of influential people. My marriage feels brand new; my husband and I are discovering new things about each other and I get to spend so much time with my children.

In terms of wealthy things, I may not be earning the kind of cash that I used to on a monthly basis. But then, I have way more than that, way more than money can buy. I think now I have what you call, ‘True Riches.’ True wealth is more than just money. Wealth is influence, family, health, sanity, peace of mind, fulfillment, joy in your heart and fulfilling dreams. It is eternal. It is knowing that you are storing up treasures in heaven.

Live the life that you were created for and fulfill your purpose. I hope this inspires you to 'do it afraid' and live a richer life.

(Part 1/2) There are two phrases that are very dear to me, ‘Do it Afraid’ and ‘The Richer Life’. When both come together, they are very significant. But what do they mean?

In the past, I wanted to live the rich life based on my experiences and my background. I come from a very wealthy home; my grandfather was extremely wealthy, but when he died, things sort of took a downturn financially. We struggled but through God’s grace I still went to the best schools, but it was a real struggle.

I remember thinking as I grew up that I never wanted to go through some of the challenges I had experienced. I decided that I was going to be very rich and live the good life.

My aunt worked in a bank, drove a sports car and I wanted to be like her. I studied accounting and finance in the UK and came back to Nigeria to work in one of the top 4 accounting firms in the world. I worked in auditing, switched to investment banking in my dream company and basically pursued money for a while. I had so many side hustles/ businesses and made a lot of money but I spent unwisely.

Eventually, I got to the point where I was fed up of working and chasing money. I wanted to fulfill my purpose. I wanted to live the richer life. Around this time, things began to happen. My mum was diagnosed with a brain tumor for the second time and I had to travel abroad with her for about 6 weeks. I had a lot of time to think. There was also the DANA plane crash and a couple of people that I knew died; young people with so much potential. So I began to think, ‘life is very precious. You need to live the life that you were created to live.’

Two important things are the impact you make for Christ here on Earth, which is your purpose, and the memories you create with your loved ones. At that time, I wasn’t spending enough time with my children and my family because I was working late. I joined the Master Life discipleship class at the Guiding Light Assembly and that really helped me to develop my relationship with God.

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(Part 2/2) I have had different experiences. I can’t say it has been smooth but with every challenge, with every roadblock, there is an opportunity. There were times when I was broke and hungry because I wanted a child to eat while I was waiting for my partners and my salary just disappeared. At a point, I had to resign because I needed to face Bimbo and Friends. Then, I had to get a job again because I needed money.

However, my team and I are consoled by the fact that God is working. He is changing lives, moulding destinies, and people are getting better. When you pay an exam fee for someone, you are comforted that yes, you used your salary but he made his NECO (National Examination Council exam). When you look at someone who is the only person in his family getting a formal education, you are comforted that there is a destiny that is going to shine.

People say things like, “I can’t wait to give to Bimbo and Friends” and I tell them you can give N500; you can give your time or an extra sanitary pad. You don’t have to wait until you have N500,000 or N100,000. We have these challenges and sometimes I get really emotional and people wonder what is wrong with me.

This year, we were registered as an NGO. Our registration name is “Lend a Hand for the Development of Africa”. People have become used to calling me Bimbo and Friends. It’s not about me; it’s about my friends who are very interested in seeing that the lives of young ones are transformed. We come together and then we make things happen.

(Part 1/2) The Bimbo and Friends story is a miracle because I would never have imagined it. Nothing in my life’s journey at the time, suggested that I would be reaching so many people and being a blessing to people in my community. I believe God qualifies the called. I remember when I started as an undergraduate in Obafemi Awolowo University and there were so many disturbing things happening at different points. I would see things like young girls getting pregnant without a secondary school leaving certificate and young children hawking when they were supposed to be in school. It was very troubling to me, but I was getting just N10,000 from home. What could I do with that? In the fellowship I attended in school (Kings Word Campus Fellowship), my pastor was always preaching about purpose and how God places you somewhere to be a blessing to people.

Our first outreach was under a tree as there was no school hall available. We had 300 people there and kept hoping it would not rain. It didn’t. I spoke to the people about vision and somebody else talked about health. From there, we went on to visiting public schools. Now, the organization has grown and is catering to whole communities. We are still expanding. Our focus has been reaching out to young girls. We have the Girl-Child Seminar Club where we go to schools, communities and centres and talk about issues facing the Girl-Child and how we can show them the love of God.

We recently launched a leadership, motivational and charity scheme. What we do is pick a child in a community and send him/her to school. We buy all the materials that will help the child in school.

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(Part 2/2) In 2013, my team and I prayed and we knew God wanted us to do more. So, we decided to embark on a welfare project, it was actually in form of evangelism. We tagged it ‘Save a life campaign’ to reach out to the people in Bariga. Over a thousand people came out for the project and we had the opportunity to minister to them. There was worship because we didn’t want to shift from the focus of the vision; revealing the love of Christ. We also administered free drugs. We have also done same in Makoko by God’s grace.

The support we got every time we had a project was overwhelming. God proved to us in diverse ways that He's involved. A family gave us 90% of the clothes we distributed to over 500 women.

In 2014, because the project was now expanding we then thought of doing something really impactful, not just giving materials. We thought, “why can’t we train people"? We set up another committee to start a leadership project for youths, teenagers, and children at the Transit Home in Idi Araba.

We wrote to the Lagos State government and it was approved. So, we started a leadership programme for the children and teenagers in that home and it was a huge success.

I was at home one day and I was led to write down, the list of people that I knew, people in my network that could be partners to this project, not only by giving money but helping in different areas. I then realized that I had great people in my network who are also passionate about making impact, so now we have an institute that trains people in different areas of vocation.

What we are currently doing is mentoring and empowering people in different areas such as bead-making, arts and craft, computer training, Ankara works, make up, catering amongst others.

Our vision is to train and empower 5,000 youths before 2020.

Sometimes we are discouraged when there are no funds but we have it in mind that if it’s just one person that we are able to impact, if it’s just one person that we are able to lead to Christ, it is okay as that one impact would have a ripple effect on several others. You just take it one step at a time, change lives, build and encourage this generation to launch into greatness.

(Part 1/2) ‎I grew up as a normal child, but seeing poverty around me made my heart ache. I saw people dying, children living on the streets, parents not being able to afford school fees and other hardships. I didn’t know what to do because I was just 7 years old at the time. I wished I could give them money but because I didn’t have, I could sympathise with them. But I knew from that tender age that I had the heart that cared for people. I remember taking food stuff from home to give friends at school.

Growing up, I hardly celebrated my birthdays, I just felt there was much more to birthdays and that it should be a time of impact and not just fun.

After my service year, I took some time out to pray. I asked God what He would have me do for my birthday that year and I heard in my spirit, “give". After further prayers and meditation, I was led to go to an orphanage home. So, I invited a couple of friends and we went to Modupe Cole Memorial Home. I will never forget that experience for the rest of my life. We didn't just give gifts, we spent quality time worshiping with them.

While worshiping, something miraculous happened; one of them who was disabled received his healing. His curved hands straightened. It was a great time indeed. We spent time interacting and praying with them. We had a concert and it was just so different.

I was so encouraged and I knew at that point that it was God helping me to help people and that’s how we started the foundation called LOVE Initiative, initially called LOVE Project on December 24, 2012 (my birthday).

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I was in JSS 3. He was my friend's brother and we had met the day before. He called to tell me my friend was ill and requested that I come with some drugs. I got to their house and no one was home but him. My friend wasn't home either. I asked where he was and he told me my friend had gone out but said I should wait for him. After a few minutes he went out and when he came back in, he locked the door. When I asked why, he didn't answer. That was when he forced himself on me.

I couldn't say a word the whole time. I was shocked and couldn't stop blaming myself for my foolishness at having walked into a trap, even though I didn't have any idea that it was one. One thing I kept telling myself eventually was that I owed it to myself not to let the experience tie me down or define me.

I must say God took away any anger or bitterness before it took root in my heart. It's been 16 years now and I'm doing fine.

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(Part 2/2) My mum and dad fought a lot and eventually parted ways so I was pretty much an unstable kid. I didn’t get much affirmation as a child and at some point it felt like my mother hated me. I found it hard to express my feelings, so I always bottled things in. I felt there was something missing. I just wanted to be loved and accepted.

At some point my feelings were distorted. I remember watching a movie and a lesbian scene came on and it made me feel uncomfortable. I started to question my sexuality and it was really weird. Something in my head tried to confuse me. I kept repeating to myself, ‘I am not a lesbian’. There was a song by Israel Houghton playing one day, titled ‘I know who I am’. I started to sing and just broke down in tears asking God to please help me. I was engaged at this time so I just wanted to be free and not take the confusion into my marriage.

I took active steps and decided not to watch certain things. I guarded my heart and just kept praying. I knew I had to be on guard because something in my head kept telling me I may be a lesbian and I should try it out. It wasn’t what I wanted so I thank God for keeping me and saving me from that path.

I am now married with a son and for many years now, I haven’t had any of the issues I had in the past. It’s almost as if it didn’t happen. The events of my past have affected me in different ways but nothing is too big for God to handle. I am truly grateful to Him for being there for me even when I did not know or acknowledge Him. If God hadn’t come through, my life would have been a wreck.

(Part 1/2) I don’t know why I clearly remember the first time I was abused. I was about 3 years old. As I share this, I can still see my little self clearly and the face of the man. The man was the husband of my nanny at the time.

My mum would drop me off during the day and pick me up later in the evening. Sometimes I would have my evening bath at my nanny’s house so all my mum had to do was put me to bed. Instead of my nanny bathing me herself, she would ask her husband to do it. The first time, he made a bubble bath and put me in it, then he started to touch me in my private area and I remember it hurt. I can still see the smile of satisfaction on his face while he touched me. When I got home, I tried to tell my mum but she just yelled and shrugged me off. As I grew older I realized my mum was frustrated and had a lot to deal with. I just kept quiet and from then on, I always kept things to myself.

I was eventually moved from there, thank God, but I didn’t know that was just the beginning of that sort of nonsense. The next occurrence was with my female cousin, who would ask me to do inappropriate things. (I don’t want to be crude, so I won’t be specific.) When I refused, she would threaten me. Then the next time, it was her brother.

To be honest I didn’t understand why all of this was happening and I wasn’t brave enough to speak out even though in my heart I knew something was not right. 

As I grew older, these things just continued. I was abused by both male and female cousins and people who I respected as big brothers. There was even a teacher I was very fond of. He started to make advances and I just couldn’t understand what a teacher would want from a kid. These experiences made me begin to notice that I wasn’t comfortable around older men.

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I was nine years old when my dad told us he was travelling. We thought it was like the other times he went on business trips. Little did I know he was ill and was going for treatment and that was going to be the last time I would see him alive.

My mom was left to raise 6 young children all by herself. I would later learn that one of her sisters advised her to leave her children with her husband's family and relocate to the US to start a better life for herself. They were worried about how she'd cope, but thankfully she didn't take their advice.

There were so many promises from friends and family but most didn't go beyond the promises. It was during that period that I learnt not to place too much hope and expectation in people. I also learnt to give without expecting anything in return as most of the people my dad helped financially and otherwise, disappeared. God raised help from unexpected places and proved Himself faithful.

I actually miss having that father-daughter relationship and often wonder what that bond feels like. Life seemed unfair in so many ways. I considered rebelling several times but the thought of adding my life’s problems to my mom’s kept me in line.

Along the way, I found a Father in God. Sometimes, I would get angry at him for letting my dad die like that. I can't count the number of times I asked him why it had to be my father. I didn't get straight answers to all my questions but I was able to draw so much comfort from knowing God.

The amazing thing is this; I am not where I want to be yet, but life is so beautiful and exciting right now. My siblings and I are doing so well, contrary to what people thought and even openly said it would be like over the last 16 years. A couple of years ago, so many people my dad helped, who made promises which they failed to keep, started showing up and most kept in touch. It's surprising how I have no bitterness or resentment left in my heart towards them. It made me realize people would prefer to associate with success stories without being a part of the pain and struggle.

The fact that I have a heavenly Father who cares deeply for me, even more than my earthly father could ever have, keeps me going.

I can't recall ever seeing my parents hold hands or say nice things to each other. I remember waking up one morning when I was about 5 years old and seeing my parents fighting. My mom temporarily relocated to Enugu and as a child, I shuttled between Enugu and Calabar every holiday. I grew up sad. Some days I couldn’t find the encouragement I needed. I hated marriage and believed there was nothing like a happy one.

In my early teenage years, I was sexually harassed by a man, and I didn't know who to confide in. My dad was definitely not an option, and sadly, neither was my mom. Years later my mom came home and all hell broke loose. I was older then and watching them fight became even more painful. I wanted to feel loved so I began to seek for love outside home.

I'd given my life to Christ, I was serving in a fellowship and was active in church, but I badly wanted to have sex. When I couldn't find this, I resorted to watching porn and masturbating. I felt terrible each time I did these things but I always continued. I sometimes equated sex to love and wrongly tried to use it to make up for the love I couldn't get from home. After so many heart pricking moments, I was tired of my dirty secret life. I decided I needed help and opened up to my pastor. I thought I was going to be judged or told I was demon possessed but he surprised me by showing me so much love. Then I realized Jesus still loved me. I knew there was still another chance for me to get it right. Rededicating my life to God and asking him for help was the beginning of my healing.

Now, my parents are seeking a divorce. The issue is getting worse and once, my dad nearly shot my mom. But, I have Jesus so I have peace and I know I'm loved. I still dream of the day I’ll see them hold hands. If they don't, I’ll make sure my kids see me hold and kiss my husband daily.

(Read the preceding part of this story on our website.)

(Part 2/2) I felt out of place in my family. I felt something was going on beyond the ordinary so I took it up and started seeking God. I told God that I was in a mess and I wanted out of it. God came through for me. No, I did not do anything serious. I only accepted Jesus and it has been great ever since. I became armored at the time for the greater spiritual warfare I would later fight.

I lost my two siblings tragically to the cold hands of death at a very young age. I did all I could to help them. I worked even harder and I prayed but I still lost them. My younger sister passed on December 10, 2011 at the age of 28 leaving four children behind. The doctors said the cause of death was food poisoning. My younger brother became ill after he won a contract in 2011 shortly after my sister’s death. People said it was a spiritual attack. He started acting irrationally and would hit his head on the wall and cry his eyes out till someone advised we take him to the Psychiatric hospital. We took him there in 2012 and he started therapy immediately. My life was all about him. I would go from one revival to another with his pictures to pray for him. His drugs were expensive but I did not care. He eventually got better and we started having reasonable conversations, then he complained of dizziness and headache in May 2016 and before we could say, “Blood of Jesus”, he was dead! I got to know a month after his death because I was heavily pregnant with my first child and family & friends were worried for me. Whenever I remember my siblings, I feel really bad, like I did not try enough for them.

As for me, I have adopted Grace as one of my names. The reason is I cannot understand the kind of love God has for me. His grace works for me every passing day. If you see me now, you won’t believe where I am coming from or what I have been through. It can only be God and I am more than grateful for His love.

(Part 1/2) Growing up was not fantastic. I am from a polygamous home and my mom is the fourth wife. She had three of us; two girls and a boy. I have a very faint memory of us living together because my mom left before I reached the age of 7. For several years, I couldn’t forgive her. I couldn’t even stand her presence. I faulted her for leaving, and I was like, ‘how could she?’

Later, she tried to make amends and would come around with foodstuffs and provisions. I would refuse to see her, but my siblings would sneak out to do so each time. One day, I managed to ask her why she settled for someone like my father, and her response was, ‘Baby girl, you will understand one day’. We hugged after that. She prayed for me and our mother-daughter relationship began. It did not last though as she died two years after.

I became a ‘mother’ to my siblings at age 10 plus. I left home at age 15 after dropping out of school. I was in Junior Secondary School 3 (JSS3) at the time. I started working odd jobs to make ends meet. When I returned 4 years later, my 17-year-old sister was heavily pregnant. I couldn’t stand the shame and pain she was going through and I felt I had failed her just like my mother, so I left again. There and then I resolved to do something worthwhile with my life. I was already into a small business, so I enrolled into a secondary school again at age 19 plus. I was advised to sit for Junior WAEC (West African Examination Council). I sat for the exam with my younger brother who was 14 years old then. I also registered for NECO and GCE at age 21 and passed well enough. I have been on track since then and I can now boast of a degree.

(Read the concluding part of this story on our website.)